LC's started in last week with those gummy, goofy shit-eating grins like you are the love of his life - all dreamy-eyed. it's adorable - he must stop whatever he is doing and gaze lovingly at whomever is right there.
another amazing meal at slanted door brunch with the gays followed by nob hill massages.
my allergies are brutalizing me.
spoke to CAJ today for 1st time since they checked into rehab facility. tough.
mom & dad in town later this week.
exhausted - what's new?
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
i got a burglar alarm from the cap'n crunch box
post-burglary and waking up bi-weekly thereafter (in my free sleeping moments with a newborn), i told E he HAD to get burglar alarm installed before his next biz trip. a few 2 day trips came and went (one which i texted him at 1am that i thought there was someone in the house) and he must get one before he left for vegas for a 6 day stint. he had 5.5 weeks to arrange for something that wouuld normally take about 10 days. the week before, i inquire.
'yes, it will be done.'
that monday, i inquire.
'yes, it will be done.'
the night before - ditto.
that friday (the day before departure) i get the bad news. when you are not sleeping for 9 weeks and you tie that in to losing sleep due to false 'alarms', you are desperate and over-tired. i am in tears. are you freaking kidding me? do you not care about my sleep? about something i have repeatedly stressed was uber-important to me? to make it worse, the painter tells me that friday to make sure to lock the deck door to my husband's office as someone could access it from the roof from the high scaffolding and he has no idea of how i've been freaking out already. my husband says he'll fix it. praytell, i can't wait to hear. oh, he'll have a filipino man (we have a link to the 'filipino mafia' as we like to call it sleep in the flat downstairs. GREAT IDEA - every time i think i hear someone and i awaken with my heart racing at 1am, 3am, etc, i'll call the filipino man downstairs and wake him up to come check it out. fat chance. i ask him if someone is coming tomorrow to install; he said the earliest they can be there is tuesday. i retreat there's nothing more i can do for now. most of all, i am frustrated. what do i have to do to show him something really means a lot to me and for him to internalize that?
he leaves the next day. monday night at 11.30, i call him to say good night. he's having beers with friends outside of caesar's and it's loud. we speak briefly and i ask when the tech will be there the next day, so i can make sure i am home. JUST GUESS.
that's right. nada. and, when i get upset and tell him this is not a fictitious paranoia, that there were burglars in our house, he hangs up on me and turns off his phone. ARE YOU F'ING KIDDING ME? this is not how it works. i text him that night to plan on not staying at home thursday and i am shocked at how callous and rude he is being when this is a result of his lack of action and concern. for the 1st time in my life, i don't accept his calls for 3 days.
the day before he flies home, i get a voicemail his brother (with no electrical/technical background - but does have bike messenger, chef and most recently, apprentice carpenter on my house) is coming by to install a kit that got fed ex'd here.
as my friend asked, did it come from the cap'n crunch box and is it one of those balloons that goes off when you open the door?
'yes, it will be done.'
that monday, i inquire.
'yes, it will be done.'
the night before - ditto.
that friday (the day before departure) i get the bad news. when you are not sleeping for 9 weeks and you tie that in to losing sleep due to false 'alarms', you are desperate and over-tired. i am in tears. are you freaking kidding me? do you not care about my sleep? about something i have repeatedly stressed was uber-important to me? to make it worse, the painter tells me that friday to make sure to lock the deck door to my husband's office as someone could access it from the roof from the high scaffolding and he has no idea of how i've been freaking out already. my husband says he'll fix it. praytell, i can't wait to hear. oh, he'll have a filipino man (we have a link to the 'filipino mafia' as we like to call it sleep in the flat downstairs. GREAT IDEA - every time i think i hear someone and i awaken with my heart racing at 1am, 3am, etc, i'll call the filipino man downstairs and wake him up to come check it out. fat chance. i ask him if someone is coming tomorrow to install; he said the earliest they can be there is tuesday. i retreat there's nothing more i can do for now. most of all, i am frustrated. what do i have to do to show him something really means a lot to me and for him to internalize that?
he leaves the next day. monday night at 11.30, i call him to say good night. he's having beers with friends outside of caesar's and it's loud. we speak briefly and i ask when the tech will be there the next day, so i can make sure i am home. JUST GUESS.
that's right. nada. and, when i get upset and tell him this is not a fictitious paranoia, that there were burglars in our house, he hangs up on me and turns off his phone. ARE YOU F'ING KIDDING ME? this is not how it works. i text him that night to plan on not staying at home thursday and i am shocked at how callous and rude he is being when this is a result of his lack of action and concern. for the 1st time in my life, i don't accept his calls for 3 days.
the day before he flies home, i get a voicemail his brother (with no electrical/technical background - but does have bike messenger, chef and most recently, apprentice carpenter on my house) is coming by to install a kit that got fed ex'd here.
as my friend asked, did it come from the cap'n crunch box and is it one of those balloons that goes off when you open the door?
Sunday, April 13, 2008
GUESS WHO SLEPT THROUGH????
LC slept through last night after the last feed til 8.30 am!!!! let's hope it's not a false alarm. i am so freakin' tired i can't see straight. more to come later...
Thursday, April 3, 2008
no, this is not 'keeping it together'
people with less and/or no kids than me keep asking 'how i am keeping it so under control'. well, to start with:
a) a baby nurse - and, honestly, i still feel it's really crazy, so ask me in 3 weeks when she's been gone for a week
b) and, to end with, NO this is not 'keeping it together'.
i mean, when i picked my 4.5 year old up from school (please note he was on time - from the days mom brings him- for the first time since i had the baby), i noticed his pants were on backwards. these pants were not merely drawstring pants, but have a fly and pockets, etc. don't i get credit for remembering him? i shouldn't even go there as i'm sure that day will be here soon. day before last the only thing i had eaten until 9.30 that night was the slices of jarlsberg i could carve off the giant-costco-size-cheese-hunk with a chef's knife (is that really safe while breastfeeding?) while nursing and an apple in between P's plastic surgeon appt, preschool dev. committee site visit, and march of dimes committee meeting (which i brought 21 month old to and i've never seen a kid there). oh, and during that meeting, i left my newborn with sick baby nurse and 4.5 yr old parked in front of movie with dinner with strict instructions not to wake baby nurse unless it was an emergency. doesn't really sound like 'keeping it together' more like 'treading water'.
i'm sure as with going from 1 to 2 there is a 'period of adjustment' and i am hoping it all goes into a nice swing rhythm sometime soon. many other people have handled it well, and i know myself capable. once i feel well-rested - when will that be? that will help. and, when i quit breastfeeding, which i'd like to do now, but can't mentally do that as i'd liek to try for 7 mos. since i made it that far with the other boys - or, at least, five...? i seem to remember wanting to quit around this time with swanky and discussing it with mel (who did quit around now or in 4 wks with delainey). it will get easier.
LC pats mable on back while she pats him and moves hand in circular motion when she rubs hers on his back - that's crazy at 7 wks!
swanky's still banging his head on counter when aggravated - scary.and being really cute when he runs away (sort of side to side swagger style) with hands in air when excited. and saying all sorts of new words "house, toast, powell at school" and yelling 'bye bye baby' when we leave. loves to kiss baby and, apparently, hit him with book while LC sleeping in cradle swing & mable there - nice.
p;'s keeping me nervous he'll bust open his stitches again and amazing me with his memory for rather mundane ancient details - we drove up to bubble tea place (which i'm addicted to with lack of sleep/time to eat) and he asked if he could see fake fish aquarium at nail place next door. i thinkt he last time he had seen it was a year and a half ago. ahhhh - the important things in life.
E was at microsoft today - said the meetings were ok. meetings with the big G are much better with integration deal in the works, not as good as purchase as i wanted to live in italia for 2 mos with kids, but maybe next year? he works his ass off and deserves it.
going to big sur for the 1st time in about 3mos due to bebe (and not wanting water birth with nude support team in weeks prior and c-section keeps us out of car after) tomorrow for 5 days. can't wait. not sure what baby nurse will think as a little more rustic than her family's usual vacation digs.
a) a baby nurse - and, honestly, i still feel it's really crazy, so ask me in 3 weeks when she's been gone for a week
b) and, to end with, NO this is not 'keeping it together'.
i mean, when i picked my 4.5 year old up from school (please note he was on time - from the days mom brings him- for the first time since i had the baby), i noticed his pants were on backwards. these pants were not merely drawstring pants, but have a fly and pockets, etc. don't i get credit for remembering him? i shouldn't even go there as i'm sure that day will be here soon. day before last the only thing i had eaten until 9.30 that night was the slices of jarlsberg i could carve off the giant-costco-size-cheese-hunk with a chef's knife (is that really safe while breastfeeding?) while nursing and an apple in between P's plastic surgeon appt, preschool dev. committee site visit, and march of dimes committee meeting (which i brought 21 month old to and i've never seen a kid there). oh, and during that meeting, i left my newborn with sick baby nurse and 4.5 yr old parked in front of movie with dinner with strict instructions not to wake baby nurse unless it was an emergency. doesn't really sound like 'keeping it together' more like 'treading water'.
i'm sure as with going from 1 to 2 there is a 'period of adjustment' and i am hoping it all goes into a nice swing rhythm sometime soon. many other people have handled it well, and i know myself capable. once i feel well-rested - when will that be? that will help. and, when i quit breastfeeding, which i'd like to do now, but can't mentally do that as i'd liek to try for 7 mos. since i made it that far with the other boys - or, at least, five...? i seem to remember wanting to quit around this time with swanky and discussing it with mel (who did quit around now or in 4 wks with delainey). it will get easier.
LC pats mable on back while she pats him and moves hand in circular motion when she rubs hers on his back - that's crazy at 7 wks!
swanky's still banging his head on counter when aggravated - scary.and being really cute when he runs away (sort of side to side swagger style) with hands in air when excited. and saying all sorts of new words "house, toast, powell at school" and yelling 'bye bye baby' when we leave. loves to kiss baby and, apparently, hit him with book while LC sleeping in cradle swing & mable there - nice.
p;'s keeping me nervous he'll bust open his stitches again and amazing me with his memory for rather mundane ancient details - we drove up to bubble tea place (which i'm addicted to with lack of sleep/time to eat) and he asked if he could see fake fish aquarium at nail place next door. i thinkt he last time he had seen it was a year and a half ago. ahhhh - the important things in life.
E was at microsoft today - said the meetings were ok. meetings with the big G are much better with integration deal in the works, not as good as purchase as i wanted to live in italia for 2 mos with kids, but maybe next year? he works his ass off and deserves it.
going to big sur for the 1st time in about 3mos due to bebe (and not wanting water birth with nude support team in weeks prior and c-section keeps us out of car after) tomorrow for 5 days. can't wait. not sure what baby nurse will think as a little more rustic than her family's usual vacation digs.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
mary poppins disaster narrowly averted
so, mary poppins is/was very sick. had some sort of flu/virus. must have picked it up by way of 1 of my kids or their friends as we're the only people she is really in contact with. so, we have her the day and night off on sunday to rest up as E was going to NYC today. E & I tagged team it at night as we're in the midst of sleep training LC (bad timing or what).
i got to sleep in til 8.45 as i stayed up with him til 1.30 am and E slept from 10-4/6. i heard mary poppins shuffling around downstairs and figured she must have been feeling better. E comes in to say bye and i ask how she is. he said she didn't sound good and he told her to go back to bed, stop unloading dishes etc (as that was perfect way to spread anything in contact with dishes). i go down later and she comes out her room; i tell her to rest up for tonight. she tells me she's going back to nyc. i'm en route to swanky's music and completely blindsided. i'm dumb-founded. i offer to get her a dr. she keeps telling me 'your husband said i'm contagious and if i am, i shouldn't be around the kids.' i can't decide if he just provided her with an easy out or if she's hacked. i tell her when i get back,i'll help her reschedule her flight. i go in her room and ask if me or E have offended her - the bed's stripped, her bags packed. are you kidding me? i've got 2.5 weeks left. someone, please save me! freaking out - i call mom, E (who tells me to go home and get her to stay). E's telling me he doesn't have time to deal. i said 'if you said some thing, and i'm the one who is really F'd here, you better make time as i don't think a phone conversation will solve it.' i don't even realize he has come home and he comes in the room and tells me she's staying. yes, he offended her - not clear on how - but she's staying....aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.....RELIEF. my mind has been in a tailspin since.
swanky ADORES music at this age and comes up with a new word every day.
p.'s still obsessed with making paper airplanes & needs to work on curbing the tattling. really enjoys soccer.
LC held his head up for the 1st time 4 days ago and is smiling at everyone he can focus on in 15 in.
weight at standstill again. dying to for regular sleep as is that my key to get weight off...going to look for prego journal...
going to big sur friday for 5 days with 6 of us in too small car...
i got to sleep in til 8.45 as i stayed up with him til 1.30 am and E slept from 10-4/6. i heard mary poppins shuffling around downstairs and figured she must have been feeling better. E comes in to say bye and i ask how she is. he said she didn't sound good and he told her to go back to bed, stop unloading dishes etc (as that was perfect way to spread anything in contact with dishes). i go down later and she comes out her room; i tell her to rest up for tonight. she tells me she's going back to nyc. i'm en route to swanky's music and completely blindsided. i'm dumb-founded. i offer to get her a dr. she keeps telling me 'your husband said i'm contagious and if i am, i shouldn't be around the kids.' i can't decide if he just provided her with an easy out or if she's hacked. i tell her when i get back,i'll help her reschedule her flight. i go in her room and ask if me or E have offended her - the bed's stripped, her bags packed. are you kidding me? i've got 2.5 weeks left. someone, please save me! freaking out - i call mom, E (who tells me to go home and get her to stay). E's telling me he doesn't have time to deal. i said 'if you said some thing, and i'm the one who is really F'd here, you better make time as i don't think a phone conversation will solve it.' i don't even realize he has come home and he comes in the room and tells me she's staying. yes, he offended her - not clear on how - but she's staying....aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.....RELIEF. my mind has been in a tailspin since.
swanky ADORES music at this age and comes up with a new word every day.
p.'s still obsessed with making paper airplanes & needs to work on curbing the tattling. really enjoys soccer.
LC held his head up for the 1st time 4 days ago and is smiling at everyone he can focus on in 15 in.
weight at standstill again. dying to for regular sleep as is that my key to get weight off...going to look for prego journal...
going to big sur friday for 5 days with 6 of us in too small car...
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