packing for 3 kids + me

no one bothered to forewarn me when i decided to have kids that it takes basically a couple of day of packing to get ready to go on vacation with 3 kids between me and them. i really don't enjoy packing, so it's a big bummer. additionally, since i'm 4.5 months post-partum and still have 5 lbs to go (which isn't so bad, but my clothes don't all fit right), i have to try most things on before packing them if i'm going to a different climate to see if they look normal. oooohhhhhh - i am dreading it.
we are leaving in 2 days for chappaquiddick for 10 days with 2 nights in boston. i thought i would pack tonight and tomorrow night. after getting upset with my husband twice this week since we have had 1 date night since the baby, he sprung date night on me last minute today. at this point, i knew i shouldn't complain or date night might not roll my way again. especially since i already replaced his restaurant selection.
so, i'll have to try and wedge packing in on my sitter days. something else no one told me: when you have 3 kids, on your sitter days, you normally have 1 kid with you at some point in the day...WHAT? yes, i'm always picking one up, dropping one off, feeding one, or taking them to a swim lesson or birthday party. so, plan on adding another sitter day or half-day if you're having 3+ kids as it is impossible to get anything done. be forewarned.
but, as for the kids, they are well worth it. (it'll just take you 4x as long to wipe out your to-do list.)

horrifying news

an old friend got in touch with me via facebook (thank you brandee barker). had run into him once since CU - i think in 2003 at monty conference. he was in town for biz for nyc and came over for a drink. i originally met him as one of my closest girlfriends in college, kris - her big brother was friends with him (and i briefly dated the big brother). he's not here for 15 minutes when he updates me on big brother. then, drops the bomb that big bro became very religious after kris's deat - WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF? proceeds to tell me she was raped & murdered. i'm in shell-shock still. none of us (her cu friends) know to my knowledge and i have the dream job of telling everyone tomorrow. are you kidding me? i have labored breathing and feel like i need to drink a lot.

mom & dad visit

i had 1 large glass of cold heaven viognier at A16 last night and i think i'm hung over or it's a complication of allergies. must go to bed immediately.
some progress on weight loss - YEAH!! have 4-7lbs to go.
dinner last night was great.
went to cooleys' for happy hour cinco de mayo party tonight.
watched atonement - very good adaptation of book. hot james mcavoy and he seems so real.
RHS fundraiser tomorrow night. was going to try and go by eliz. charles anniversary sale but should not spend the $$. going to buckeye for lunch tomorrow and alameda flea sunday.
swanky has cold but does fill-in-the-blank lyrics with me on copacabana. LC still full of goofy smiles, coos and pooping once/day. p. is wonderful with the kids/awesome big brother.
night.

gummy, goofy grins

LC's started in last week with those gummy, goofy shit-eating grins like you are the love of his life - all dreamy-eyed. it's adorable - he must stop whatever he is doing and gaze lovingly at whomever is right there.
another amazing meal at slanted door brunch with the gays followed by nob hill massages.
my allergies are brutalizing me.
spoke to CAJ today for 1st time since they checked into rehab facility. tough.
mom & dad in town later this week.

exhausted - what's new?

i got a burglar alarm from the cap'n crunch box

post-burglary and waking up bi-weekly thereafter (in my free sleeping moments with a newborn), i told E he HAD to get burglar alarm installed before his next biz trip. a few 2 day trips came and went (one which i texted him at 1am that i thought there was someone in the house) and he must get one before he left for vegas for a 6 day stint. he had 5.5 weeks to arrange for something that wouuld normally take about 10 days. the week before, i inquire.
'yes, it will be done.'
that monday, i inquire.
'yes, it will be done.'
the night before - ditto.
that friday (the day before departure) i get the bad news. when you are not sleeping for 9 weeks and you tie that in to losing sleep due to false 'alarms', you are desperate and over-tired. i am in tears. are you freaking kidding me? do you not care about my sleep? about something i have repeatedly stressed was uber-important to me? to make it worse, the painter tells me that friday to make sure to lock the deck door to my husband's office as someone could access it from the roof from the high scaffolding and he has no idea of how i've been freaking out already. my husband says he'll fix it. praytell, i can't wait to hear. oh, he'll have a filipino man (we have a link to the 'filipino mafia' as we like to call it sleep in the flat downstairs. GREAT IDEA - every time i think i hear someone and i awaken with my heart racing at 1am, 3am, etc, i'll call the filipino man downstairs and wake him up to come check it out. fat chance. i ask him if someone is coming tomorrow to install; he said the earliest they can be there is tuesday. i retreat there's nothing more i can do for now. most of all, i am frustrated. what do i have to do to show him something really means a lot to me and for him to internalize that?
he leaves the next day. monday night at 11.30, i call him to say good night. he's having beers with friends outside of caesar's and it's loud. we speak briefly and i ask when the tech will be there the next day, so i can make sure i am home. JUST GUESS.
that's right. nada. and, when i get upset and tell him this is not a fictitious paranoia, that there were burglars in our house, he hangs up on me and turns off his phone. ARE YOU F'ING KIDDING ME? this is not how it works. i text him that night to plan on not staying at home thursday and i am shocked at how callous and rude he is being when this is a result of his lack of action and concern. for the 1st time in my life, i don't accept his calls for 3 days.
the day before he flies home, i get a voicemail his brother (with no electrical/technical background - but does have bike messenger, chef and most recently, apprentice carpenter on my house) is coming by to install a kit that got fed ex'd here.
as my friend asked, did it come from the cap'n crunch box and is it one of those balloons that goes off when you open the door?

GUESS WHO SLEPT THROUGH????

LC slept through last night after the last feed til 8.30 am!!!! let's hope it's not a false alarm. i am so freakin' tired i can't see straight. more to come later...

no, this is not 'keeping it together'

people with less and/or no kids than me keep asking 'how i am keeping it so under control'. well, to start with:
a) a baby nurse - and, honestly, i still feel it's really crazy, so ask me in 3 weeks when she's been gone for a week
b) and, to end with, NO this is not 'keeping it together'.

i mean, when i picked my 4.5 year old up from school (please note he was on time - from the days mom brings him- for the first time since i had the baby), i noticed his pants were on backwards. these pants were not merely drawstring pants, but have a fly and pockets, etc. don't i get credit for remembering him? i shouldn't even go there as i'm sure that day will be here soon. day before last the only thing i had eaten until 9.30 that night was the slices of jarlsberg i could carve off the giant-costco-size-cheese-hunk with a chef's knife (is that really safe while breastfeeding?) while nursing and an apple in between P's plastic surgeon appt, preschool dev. committee site visit, and march of dimes committee meeting (which i brought 21 month old to and i've never seen a kid there). oh, and during that meeting, i left my newborn with sick baby nurse and 4.5 yr old parked in front of movie with dinner with strict instructions not to wake baby nurse unless it was an emergency. doesn't really sound like 'keeping it together' more like 'treading water'.

i'm sure as with going from 1 to 2 there is a 'period of adjustment' and i am hoping it all goes into a nice swing rhythm sometime soon. many other people have handled it well, and i know myself capable. once i feel well-rested - when will that be? that will help. and, when i quit breastfeeding, which i'd like to do now, but can't mentally do that as i'd liek to try for 7 mos. since i made it that far with the other boys - or, at least, five...? i seem to remember wanting to quit around this time with swanky and discussing it with mel (who did quit around now or in 4 wks with delainey). it will get easier.

LC pats mable on back while she pats him and moves hand in circular motion when she rubs hers on his back - that's crazy at 7 wks!
swanky's still banging his head on counter when aggravated - scary.and being really cute when he runs away (sort of side to side swagger style) with hands in air when excited. and saying all sorts of new words "house, toast, powell at school" and yelling 'bye bye baby' when we leave. loves to kiss baby and, apparently, hit him with book while LC sleeping in cradle swing & mable there - nice.
p;'s keeping me nervous he'll bust open his stitches again and amazing me with his memory for rather mundane ancient details - we drove up to bubble tea place (which i'm addicted to with lack of sleep/time to eat) and he asked if he could see fake fish aquarium at nail place next door. i thinkt he last time he had seen it was a year and a half ago. ahhhh - the important things in life.
E was at microsoft today - said the meetings were ok. meetings with the big G are much better with integration deal in the works, not as good as purchase as i wanted to live in italia for 2 mos with kids, but maybe next year? he works his ass off and deserves it.
going to big sur for the 1st time in about 3mos due to bebe (and not wanting water birth with nude support team in weeks prior and c-section keeps us out of car after) tomorrow for 5 days. can't wait. not sure what baby nurse will think as a little more rustic than her family's usual vacation digs.

mary poppins disaster narrowly averted

so, mary poppins is/was very sick. had some sort of flu/virus. must have picked it up by way of 1 of my kids or their friends as we're the only people she is really in contact with. so, we have her the day and night off on sunday to rest up as E was going to NYC today. E & I tagged team it at night as we're in the midst of sleep training LC (bad timing or what).
i got to sleep in til 8.45 as i stayed up with him til 1.30 am and E slept from 10-4/6. i heard mary poppins shuffling around downstairs and figured she must have been feeling better. E comes in to say bye and i ask how she is. he said she didn't sound good and he told her to go back to bed, stop unloading dishes etc (as that was perfect way to spread anything in contact with dishes). i go down later and she comes out her room; i tell her to rest up for tonight. she tells me she's going back to nyc. i'm en route to swanky's music and completely blindsided. i'm dumb-founded. i offer to get her a dr. she keeps telling me 'your husband said i'm contagious and if i am, i shouldn't be around the kids.' i can't decide if he just provided her with an easy out or if she's hacked. i tell her when i get back,i'll help her reschedule her flight. i go in her room and ask if me or E have offended her - the bed's stripped, her bags packed. are you kidding me? i've got 2.5 weeks left. someone, please save me! freaking out - i call mom, E (who tells me to go home and get her to stay). E's telling me he doesn't have time to deal. i said 'if you said some thing, and i'm the one who is really F'd here, you better make time as i don't think a phone conversation will solve it.' i don't even realize he has come home and he comes in the room and tells me she's staying. yes, he offended her - not clear on how - but she's staying....aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.....RELIEF. my mind has been in a tailspin since.
swanky ADORES music at this age and comes up with a new word every day.
p.'s still obsessed with making paper airplanes & needs to work on curbing the tattling. really enjoys soccer.
LC held his head up for the 1st time 4 days ago and is smiling at everyone he can focus on in 15 in.
weight at standstill again. dying to for regular sleep as is that my key to get weight off...going to look for prego journal...
going to big sur friday for 5 days with 6 of us in too small car...

when will the rest of the baby weight melt off?

i can't seem to remember important things like to call and make an appt for my eldest with plastic surgeon to have stitches checked, so i don't know why i think i would remember when the rest of the baby weight melted away. but, i'm 6.5 weeks post-partum and i'm more than ready for it to bid 'adieu'. the mundane details of life - i think i have this written somewhere in my pregnancy weight journal but can't manage to find that in all the boxes...i do know last time it was gone by the time i headed to italia with swanky and he was 3.5 months. i don't think i can wait that long. but, i figure i need to focus on getting enough sleep and that will help enable the process. speaking of, it's 12.21 am and i should get on that since we are trying to get LC to drop the 3am feed which means he's up at 6.30 am (he's already failed once after a week of trying).
swanky is giving us a hard time - he's all or nothing. adorable or horrible. wants to hug & kiss you or bite you. terrible 2's.
had my first solo dinner with my hubby post-bebe at bar bambino which was fabulous. can't say all the cheese i ate will be helping that weight 'melt away'. love that when i got home my 4.5 yr old asked 'how was your dinner?' like he was genuiney interested and then, asked me what i ate. so mature and such the child of a foodie.
off to bed - allergies are killing me...

adorable or horrible?

adorable or horrible? that is the question to be...swanky is roaring into the terrible 2's and making the best/worst of it. if he's not horrible, frankly, he's adorable, but when he's bad, he's very, very bad. honestly, it scares me how i will ever make it out the house solo with all 3 boys with the behavior he's been exhibiting as of late.

mary poppins by way of jamaica

well, i've been slacking the last 10 days, and therefore, no posts. part of the reason was mary poppins (of jamaica) showed up on the 7th, 2 days after my last entry. and, because i've been getting so lazy since the 5th, that i don't get out of bed for the night feedings any more and just pull the peewee into my bed. so, alas, no midnight entries in the blog.
why i didn't figure out this baby nurse thing earlier is a mystery to me? actually, that's a lie as i know part of the reason is because i breastfeed (so i figured i'd have to get up anyway) and the other reason was it would really drain the bank account. but, it really is sweet relief. so, i saved up all my credits and cashed in for one the last go-round and, boy, i am already dreading her departure (which isn't for a month). since i have all c-sections, we have to have round-the-clock help anyway to pick up the swanky-do. on my 2nd section, i tried picking up powell early and it took way longer to heal, more bleeding, etc. it just wasn't worth it. so, i've learned. so, it's nice to have someone here, so E. doesn't have to rush home from work, and he can go on biz trips (preferably kept to a minimum as it's still 3 kids under 4.5). she takes care of the baby and helps with the kids. but, the biggest coup de grace by far is she gets up for the 3am feed and feeds him pumped breastmilk (from earlier in the day), so i get to sleep for roughly 6 hours! the other day it was even 8 hrs, but we've regressed last 2 nights which is hopefully a growth spurt. i feel like a semi-normal person - except that i breastfeed all day long. can't wait to get on the 4 feedings/day every 4 hours as that's way more manageable. i know why people quit breasfeeding so early; it's a pain in the butt to work into your daily routine amongst other issues. yesterday, i had to breastfeed at the plastic surgeon (P. getting his stitches from monday checked on), and was scheduled to do so at susan at the lanvin trunk show and called to change my appointment because i was NOT about to do that.
great news was we found out yesterday LC's carnitine level had improved with the meds which is a positive indicator he does NOT have the disease. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! i'm really psyched. small bad news is i have low carnitine, but i made it this far, so how bad can it be? kara said it could just be low because i was preggers and your carnitine gets depleted. i had to get more blood drawn yesterday and again, in the future. if it continues to be low, they will do an echocardiogram to make sure my heart's ok. and, they said it could be something to watch if i got prego again, but i assured her that was not the case. overall, i'm elated about LC.
swanky is rounding into the terrible 2's at 20.5 months. he's throwing food/toys on the floor if he doesn't get his way, and/or banging head on floor and tantrums. nice. but, he's really funny when he dances (we gotta get this on video) and when he wants to kiss baby on head all the time (a little too much and open mouth kiss where he leaves a lot of spit and/or food residue).
powell was on playdate with nick silva monday and fell on the bus and got stitches. he was so brave and didn't even cry. dr friedenthal (mom pulled out all the stops to get him in plastic surgeon so LC didn't have to sit in ER waiting room and chance getting sick) did 4 internal stitches and dermabond glue on the outside. he did a show n tell about it thursday at school.
maybe we can actually try to unpack more as i feel we're at standstill and/or straighten house. E. goes to monterey for 3 day conference tomorrow.

boys update

LC had his first bath last night and loved it. he was wailing when we woke him up and took his clothes off. then, when we put him in, he was totally quiet from raging. his oldest brother predicted it - maybe he'll be a water baby like P. swanky hated it.
swanky's a hot dancer and does the white man shoulder shake and throws in a clap and a few steps. i'm hoping he didn't get shoulder shake from me but he might have. did great tonight to ben harper covering sexual healing.
P. is currently obsessed with making paper airplanes. was allowed no treats today after lying to us about the sitter giving him a bath yesterday.
today LC & i go to get carnitine levels tested - ugh.
mable, baby nurse, comes friday - yeah! about to experience the good life and better luck hopefully. night.

i couldn't make this shit up if i tried...

ok...my life (as of recent) is a real 'as the world turns'. first off, i will start with LC's metabolic disease, carnitine transport deficiency, which his pediatrician called me tuesday (a week ago) to confirm that he has. the doctor did say there was a very TINY chance he might not have it, but they were fairly certain he did. the good news is he could basically live a normal life but he would have to take medicine starting now (he was 2 weeks old last tuesday) for the rest of his life. the complications (if disease is untreated) are very serious - sudden death for infants, cardirespiratory attack, and the majority are heart problems. let's say they are serious enough that the other boys need to be tested, and even if they don't have it, they need to be tested to determine if they are genetic carriers. dr. brock (who is a totally chill, laid-back guy) said he wanted me to make an appt with the genetic specialists at ucsf even though they did not feel it was imperative since he does not know much about this rare disease. he said we needed to have strategies in place for when he's sick, etc. etc. now, he's such a 'everything's fine!" type of dr. that if he said go talk to the specialists, i'm there. he gives me their number; i call for 2 days and leave voicemails (they are predominantly research scientists) and get no call back. friday i call my doc's office for help getting in touch. the genetic counselor, kara, ends up calling me from ucsf metabolics clinic and, after a roundabout discussion of about 20 minutes, determines MY doctor had a game of 'telephone' going and misunderstood. they think it is highly UNlikely LC has the disease as he doesn't have any of the very serious seconday symptoms (i.e. cardio myopathy, renal and liver issues, etc) are you KIDDING me? i share the good news with E and family and can't leave doc voicemail til monday.
E's sister takes the 2 older boys for sleepover saturday morning so we can work on unpacking - so nice of her. we unpack all day long and move things up from storage. i get a wild hare and we even go out to dinner with LC at terzo. look out! friday night we slept horribly as LC was up every 1.5 either wanting to eat or crying. we decide it's time to whip out the bottle topper saturday night as we are desperadoes. so, we do and we get an extra hour of sleep - 3 instead of 2. i'm thinking 'this is the good life'. he wakes up screaming to eat at 2.15. i pull him into bed and start feeding him and doze off for about 8 minutes. i look up at the clock and i hear something fall in our flat downstairs. i think 'maybe i'm imagining this and something was precariously perched', so i listen... i hear something else and i know i'm not wrong. i know someone is in our house. just thinking back to how i felt shortens my breath and causes my heart to start racing. i wake E who would sleep through a freight train (and honestly i would have as well one of these newborn nights when i'm short on sleep) and tell him ' wake up - someone is definitely downstairs in our house.' i have visions of homeless rummaging through our stuff - not as nefarious as it could possibly be. he goes to walk out and i point out he might want to put boxers on. he walks out our bedroom door to the top of stairs, then all-too-quickly, returns and confirms my worst fears. "SOMEONE IS DEFINITELY HERE - CALL 911." thank god he had installed a phone next to me in bed (even though i didn't really want it there). i am on the phone with 911 operator giving them all of our info. he tells me my husband shouldn't have gone downstairs i'm like ' it's too F---NG late for that!' this whole time i'm breastfeeding the little guy. then, i hear E. yell at them 'WHERE ARE YOU GOING?' i freak out and think they are trying to run away from him i.e. upstairs to where we are. i'm telling the dispatcher i think they are coming upstairs 'should i hide in the closet?" he says 'yes' and 'lock yourself in". i tell him there's no F--NG doorknobs in the house yet. i'm ineffectively trying to hide between the clothes. next thing i know he tells me the police are in the house and it should be ok to go down. turns out there was a man & woman climbing out hall bath window when E went down; he ran to front of house to see them, then went to back and saw them hopping fence (when he yelled to them). the guy said "dude, i was just looking for my house". the cops told us they say this in case they go to court they claim they were drunk & mistakenly went into wrong house. they whisk E off to try to ID couple matching description around block who are being detained in cuffs. E said they totally matched description but it wasn't them. E said the guy in cuffs was loaded doing perp walk - what a buzzkill that would be. 10 SF cops chasing them and they escape. they call CSI to come in to print the next day. i'm envisioning emily procter in her tight pants and fitted button-down with blonde hair swinging in wind. instead, we got super-nice bulldyke with horrid short mullet-cut, full brace and plus 65 lbs in all the wrong places who gave us some fascinating insights into crime life. she printed and couldn't get anything to convict; this is not the CSI you see on tv but we all figured that. no enormous budgets for every hi-tech gizmo to catch the bad guys (esp in SF with our super-low conviction rate).
we have trouble getting back to sleep that night - needless to say, we are tired in the morning. we try to keep it under wraps from the boys to not scare them. i would have had a heart attack if they were down there and i knew someone else was, too. got the alarm co in the next day but haven't hooked anything up yet.
i feel like a main character in my own soap opera - hit & run 2 weeks before due date, move, move into hotel, someone slashes porsche roof on nob hill, birth, move back to hotel, on and off again genetic-disease, company financing limbo, move back into house that's partially done, and now this. i need a valium just listening to it but, surprisingly, don't feel like i'll lose it just yet. the lack of sleep must have me numb to a certain point.

disease & sleep-deprivation...

i've already had it with this sleep-deprivation bit and it's only been 17 days since LC was born. i seem to think i was more game for it the last 2 times, but, honestly, i probably wasn't. everyone always says how great it is that i sleep train my kids so young, so they are sleeping through the night at 8 weeks for P. and 12 weeks for swanky. (and, this is sleeping 8 hour stretches; none of this where some docs considering sleeping through the night at 5-6 hour stretches.) but, what they don't realize is, is that it is totally self-serving. if i could operate like a 'normal person' (read not sideswipe cars, not be able to form sentences, not forget half of my obligations), i might be game for this longer. i'm looking forward to the baby nurse showing up next week (which is a first for us after the 4th pregnancy). hopefully, LC will have dropped the 2 am feed when we introduce the bottle topper in a few days. and, my friend said the nurse will feed him the 5am feed (with pumped breastmilk), so i'll get some sleep for a few weeks. this is why i waited to have her come til he was 3.5 weeks old as that is the height of my desperation with the sleep-deprivation. my husband said someone pointed out to him that sleeping in 2 hour chunks is considered torture according to the geneva convention and that is what all mothers go through.

so, we got some bad news 2 days ago. dr. brock called to say LC does have carnitine transporter deficiency. my breathing became quickly stifled and i felt a weight on my chest. good news is its entirely treatable, bad news is complications can be dire and there will be a lot to deal with when he's sick (and doesn't feel like eating). this disease affects 1 in 40,000 and so would be it our luck - now, we've managed to get this and toxo which was 1 in 200,000 odds. not a huge good luck streak...more on this later.

seem to be possibly making headway on the move

it's hard to believe but we might be making minor steps forward in unpacking. now, i just need to get some sleep! and it's only been 2 weeks since delivery and it's 3 am (not a good sign). so, i am ecstatic i have a baby nurse showing up (for the 1st time) at the end of next week. my friend, frannie, referred me to her and i talked to her tonight about the specifics of what she does while she's here and it sounds great. i am so on board for this. only thing i heard was hard was having someone live in your casa for 5 weeks, but i think i'm game.
it's absolutely amazing how the minute the baby is born my back pain dissipates. i still have back pain (from lack of stomach muscles from c-section) but it's entirely different. after months of griping, physical therapy for 'pregnancy-induced scoliosis', etc and out they come = all ok.
i'm physically starting to feel way better. i should limit that to 'around the house' since i haven't made it out (except for 1 block) and i felt like i was walking at a geriatric speed. needless to say, i got 4 boxes done today which is miniscule but moving in right direction.

LC won't wake for 2nd side, so i'm off to bed...hoping for miracles of endless sleep the rest of the night.

hives & unpacking

i'm breaking out in hives again; this is new to have this happen while NOT prego. all i know is i'm miserable; took 2 benadryl at last feeding at 1am and don't seem to be helping. scratching all over arms and legs, very itchy and raised rash in those areas. unpacking the house is going to take us donkey years. i was up all day today (no naps) and only seemed to unpack hospital bag, 1/2 box and re-org kitchen pots & was exhausted (pathetic) at end of day and back hurt from lack of stomach muscles. would be great if we could get great room and kitchen done to function and work through the rest. and organize my closet. need to buy drawer organizers for bath. speaking of, need to go to container store. i unrolled electric blinds and there were 4 holes on edge of ours - aaarrrggghhh. peter littlejohn said they weren't there a week ago and seemed to be blaming them on electricians - great. i don't even know if they could replace if they would since have to rip out wall.
i'm falling asleep in chair while sitting up feeding. need to get back to bed & try and stop scratching.

not such a dream day

it's 2 am and i'm mid-feed. we moved back in today from the huntington to the house and i quickly realized what deep crap we are in. there were about 10 tradesmen here and we were having to cordone off the boys in our bedroom; swanky was walking around with a piece of scrap molding it and banging it into the woodwork. there's still a ton of finish work to do. the paint that they busted butt finishing yesterday in entry hall, etc. has already been chipped by workmen and E & I noticed they didn't fit the hardwood floor tight enough together in hall and shows narrow gaps (not that easily fixable). i think the kitchen and entry hall paint color look awesome. not so crazy currently about green shade of striping in boys' bath - possibly too green and imagine more chartreuse? we are talking about letting painters finish when we go to big sur in a month, but doesn't sound ideal when i remember baby nurse coming. it is not as though we are going to have her sleep in our room and have her bring me baby.
good news is LC is back at his brith weight at doctor's. i brought him there for check-up and he's 8lbs 14 oz. we won't know if he has disease til end of this week/beginning of next week. having allergic reaction to steri-strips and welts all along scar incision. glamorous childbirth - i'm DEFINITELY done with the business.

i was just peed on...

in the midst of a feeding, i went to change LC and he sprayed me with a shower of pee. nice. the joys of motherhood. i think a little got in my hair.
doctor's appointment got changes til tomorrow but found out 2 things: 1) won't get lab results until end of this week/beginning of next, and 2) L-carnitine transport deficiency is WAY more serious than we ever imagined nor was this properly conveyed to us. i am sure the docs didn't want to freak us out in the event it was a false positive, but, in the event he does have it, they should have been a bit more serious. our doctor, dr. brock, called this afternoon after he had spoke with a genetic specialist at ucsf and i could tell by his tone that it was more serious than we anticipated from the other doctor who had reviewed it with us at the hospital. so, i looked it up on the web on a website that is more targeted toward doctors and the majority of the complications involve heart and central nerwous systems issues as well as weak skeletal muscle (which was the majority of what Dr. W mentioned at hospital). they specifically mentioned breast-fed infants stating some have sudden death, apnea, and cardiorespiratory attacks. needless to say, the next few days til we hear the news will be long ones.
it seems that life should deal you a big blow and give you a break for a while. don't you think? so, i think i am up to my fill on big blows when we lost our 2nd son in 2005 as a newborn to a rare parasite. then, we had enough other aggravating blows that i REALLY think we had our fill that year to last us a good bit of time - secondary effects of hurricane katrina (since most of my famiglia is still there), my dad almost died in a horse accident 3 weeks later, and then, our house which has been a constant source of aggravation up til the present since 2005. but, a day i've been waiting for since may 2005 has finally come (2 years later than expected), we are moving back in tomorrow! i am so excited. maybe tomorrow i won't be when i see what a construction disaster it is, but it's been a long-awaited day.
and, does anyone know how you get a 4 1/2 year old to listen to you? i could probably make a lot of money if i figured that one out. the jury's still out.
night.

LC's homecoming

we brought LC home from the hospital 2 days ago. well, home is a generous term. we are back at the huntington hotel since the house is STILL not ready. construction nightmare...and san francisco seems to have the worst of them. but, we should be glad as everyone seems to be healthy and happy. but, we have to go to the pediatrician tomorrow to confirm or find out if L. has mitochindrial fatty acid oxidation which is a metabolic disorder. good news is if he does have it (and we still don't know much about it) sounds like it can easily be treated with a daily vitamin. but, we are hoping it's a false positive.
mom & dad leave tomorrow. they have actually been helping a lot so they will be missed. i seem to think i can move with the 3 boys (7 days, 20 months and 4.5 yr old) from the hotel to the house solo 8 days post-c-section. might be a little brazen. we shall see.
L. seems to be a great sleeper so far, but i'm hoping it's not linked to the metabolic disorder as they said it could cause low blood sugar and weakness. this could vastly interefere with my sleep training. again. we shall find out tomorrow.
i figure having a 3rd boy, moving in a construction site, up all night breastfeeding...no time like the present to start a blog! all this free time!