disease & sleep-deprivation...

i've already had it with this sleep-deprivation bit and it's only been 17 days since LC was born. i seem to think i was more game for it the last 2 times, but, honestly, i probably wasn't. everyone always says how great it is that i sleep train my kids so young, so they are sleeping through the night at 8 weeks for P. and 12 weeks for swanky. (and, this is sleeping 8 hour stretches; none of this where some docs considering sleeping through the night at 5-6 hour stretches.) but, what they don't realize is, is that it is totally self-serving. if i could operate like a 'normal person' (read not sideswipe cars, not be able to form sentences, not forget half of my obligations), i might be game for this longer. i'm looking forward to the baby nurse showing up next week (which is a first for us after the 4th pregnancy). hopefully, LC will have dropped the 2 am feed when we introduce the bottle topper in a few days. and, my friend said the nurse will feed him the 5am feed (with pumped breastmilk), so i'll get some sleep for a few weeks. this is why i waited to have her come til he was 3.5 weeks old as that is the height of my desperation with the sleep-deprivation. my husband said someone pointed out to him that sleeping in 2 hour chunks is considered torture according to the geneva convention and that is what all mothers go through.

so, we got some bad news 2 days ago. dr. brock called to say LC does have carnitine transporter deficiency. my breathing became quickly stifled and i felt a weight on my chest. good news is its entirely treatable, bad news is complications can be dire and there will be a lot to deal with when he's sick (and doesn't feel like eating). this disease affects 1 in 40,000 and so would be it our luck - now, we've managed to get this and toxo which was 1 in 200,000 odds. not a huge good luck streak...more on this later.

seem to be possibly making headway on the move

it's hard to believe but we might be making minor steps forward in unpacking. now, i just need to get some sleep! and it's only been 2 weeks since delivery and it's 3 am (not a good sign). so, i am ecstatic i have a baby nurse showing up (for the 1st time) at the end of next week. my friend, frannie, referred me to her and i talked to her tonight about the specifics of what she does while she's here and it sounds great. i am so on board for this. only thing i heard was hard was having someone live in your casa for 5 weeks, but i think i'm game.
it's absolutely amazing how the minute the baby is born my back pain dissipates. i still have back pain (from lack of stomach muscles from c-section) but it's entirely different. after months of griping, physical therapy for 'pregnancy-induced scoliosis', etc and out they come = all ok.
i'm physically starting to feel way better. i should limit that to 'around the house' since i haven't made it out (except for 1 block) and i felt like i was walking at a geriatric speed. needless to say, i got 4 boxes done today which is miniscule but moving in right direction.

LC won't wake for 2nd side, so i'm off to bed...hoping for miracles of endless sleep the rest of the night.

hives & unpacking

i'm breaking out in hives again; this is new to have this happen while NOT prego. all i know is i'm miserable; took 2 benadryl at last feeding at 1am and don't seem to be helping. scratching all over arms and legs, very itchy and raised rash in those areas. unpacking the house is going to take us donkey years. i was up all day today (no naps) and only seemed to unpack hospital bag, 1/2 box and re-org kitchen pots & was exhausted (pathetic) at end of day and back hurt from lack of stomach muscles. would be great if we could get great room and kitchen done to function and work through the rest. and organize my closet. need to buy drawer organizers for bath. speaking of, need to go to container store. i unrolled electric blinds and there were 4 holes on edge of ours - aaarrrggghhh. peter littlejohn said they weren't there a week ago and seemed to be blaming them on electricians - great. i don't even know if they could replace if they would since have to rip out wall.
i'm falling asleep in chair while sitting up feeding. need to get back to bed & try and stop scratching.

not such a dream day

it's 2 am and i'm mid-feed. we moved back in today from the huntington to the house and i quickly realized what deep crap we are in. there were about 10 tradesmen here and we were having to cordone off the boys in our bedroom; swanky was walking around with a piece of scrap molding it and banging it into the woodwork. there's still a ton of finish work to do. the paint that they busted butt finishing yesterday in entry hall, etc. has already been chipped by workmen and E & I noticed they didn't fit the hardwood floor tight enough together in hall and shows narrow gaps (not that easily fixable). i think the kitchen and entry hall paint color look awesome. not so crazy currently about green shade of striping in boys' bath - possibly too green and imagine more chartreuse? we are talking about letting painters finish when we go to big sur in a month, but doesn't sound ideal when i remember baby nurse coming. it is not as though we are going to have her sleep in our room and have her bring me baby.
good news is LC is back at his brith weight at doctor's. i brought him there for check-up and he's 8lbs 14 oz. we won't know if he has disease til end of this week/beginning of next week. having allergic reaction to steri-strips and welts all along scar incision. glamorous childbirth - i'm DEFINITELY done with the business.

i was just peed on...

in the midst of a feeding, i went to change LC and he sprayed me with a shower of pee. nice. the joys of motherhood. i think a little got in my hair.
doctor's appointment got changes til tomorrow but found out 2 things: 1) won't get lab results until end of this week/beginning of next, and 2) L-carnitine transport deficiency is WAY more serious than we ever imagined nor was this properly conveyed to us. i am sure the docs didn't want to freak us out in the event it was a false positive, but, in the event he does have it, they should have been a bit more serious. our doctor, dr. brock, called this afternoon after he had spoke with a genetic specialist at ucsf and i could tell by his tone that it was more serious than we anticipated from the other doctor who had reviewed it with us at the hospital. so, i looked it up on the web on a website that is more targeted toward doctors and the majority of the complications involve heart and central nerwous systems issues as well as weak skeletal muscle (which was the majority of what Dr. W mentioned at hospital). they specifically mentioned breast-fed infants stating some have sudden death, apnea, and cardiorespiratory attacks. needless to say, the next few days til we hear the news will be long ones.
it seems that life should deal you a big blow and give you a break for a while. don't you think? so, i think i am up to my fill on big blows when we lost our 2nd son in 2005 as a newborn to a rare parasite. then, we had enough other aggravating blows that i REALLY think we had our fill that year to last us a good bit of time - secondary effects of hurricane katrina (since most of my famiglia is still there), my dad almost died in a horse accident 3 weeks later, and then, our house which has been a constant source of aggravation up til the present since 2005. but, a day i've been waiting for since may 2005 has finally come (2 years later than expected), we are moving back in tomorrow! i am so excited. maybe tomorrow i won't be when i see what a construction disaster it is, but it's been a long-awaited day.
and, does anyone know how you get a 4 1/2 year old to listen to you? i could probably make a lot of money if i figured that one out. the jury's still out.
night.

LC's homecoming

we brought LC home from the hospital 2 days ago. well, home is a generous term. we are back at the huntington hotel since the house is STILL not ready. construction nightmare...and san francisco seems to have the worst of them. but, we should be glad as everyone seems to be healthy and happy. but, we have to go to the pediatrician tomorrow to confirm or find out if L. has mitochindrial fatty acid oxidation which is a metabolic disorder. good news is if he does have it (and we still don't know much about it) sounds like it can easily be treated with a daily vitamin. but, we are hoping it's a false positive.
mom & dad leave tomorrow. they have actually been helping a lot so they will be missed. i seem to think i can move with the 3 boys (7 days, 20 months and 4.5 yr old) from the hotel to the house solo 8 days post-c-section. might be a little brazen. we shall see.
L. seems to be a great sleeper so far, but i'm hoping it's not linked to the metabolic disorder as they said it could cause low blood sugar and weakness. this could vastly interefere with my sleep training. again. we shall find out tomorrow.
i figure having a 3rd boy, moving in a construction site, up all night breastfeeding...no time like the present to start a blog! all this free time!